Without rules, chaos ensues. Rules are necessary. Especially for something as important as coffee. (Renee said I have to post my "coffee rules." I think she just wants people to realize how strange I am. I'm pretty sure you all were already aware.)
I was at Starbucks on Wednesday, October 1st, for Grump Therapy - our exclusive adoption support group-slash-accountability group. (I had to spell out the slash. It just felt right.) I ordered a Pumpkin Spice Latte. Specifically, a Grande, Breve Pumpkin Spice Latte with Whip. And a snickerdoodle. Heated.
Rule # 1: Although pumpkin spice lattes make their appearance on the Starbucks menu in early September, they must not be ordered prior to the first of October. Pumpkin is an October gourd. That's not to say I wouldn't eat a piece of delicious, moist pumpkin bread outside of the month of October... this is about coffee.
Rule # 2: What about September, you ask? With school starting and leaves changing, there's certainly an expectation of an autumn flavor. Luckily, they have the Cinnamon Dolce Latte. The perfect blend of spicy and soothing. I like mine with a shot of caramel sauce (that's SAUCE, not syrup.)
Rule #3: Either drink can continue into the month of November, but consumption must cease on Thanksgiving day. That's when it's proper to make the transition to the Peppermint Mocha. Oh yes, I'm salivating just thinking about it. But that's still 7 weeks away. Not a day before. They can continue into January, but not beyond. (Eggnog lattes are for December only. Though I may have to make a special consideration for Stacy's little addiction. I wouldn't want to make life difficult for her.)
AMENDMENT: I have seen the light on the eggnog lattes, and willingly adjust my rule. In my mind, Eggnog was a Christmas drink, but I now know it's quite enjoyable in the fall, too. So I have expanded Eggnog Latte season to include November... and maybe even a few days in October - whenever Starbucks starts selling them, which I think is around the 26th of October. Because the ones I've tried elsewhere were AWFUL.)
Rule # 4: Iced drinks can be ordered anytime between May and August.
Anything else? I think something may be developing for Spring. The Breve Awake Tea Misto with Vanilla may become the official drink of the Spring season. But that's not set in stone yet.
Finally... (remember this Brian!)
Rule #5: Coffee is an experience. It is to be sipped and enjoyed, not guzzled. Especially milk-based coffee drinks. If you MUST guzzle your first cup of coffee for the day, in order to get the caffiene benefit, make sure it's basic drip. (I don't get the awakening benefit/curse of caffiene. For me, a nice dark cup of coffee with half and half is a delightful way to relax before bed.)
Alright. Are we clear on the rules now? Any questions?
I am laughing-slash-howling at this post!!! Oh, my dear, we MUST meet for coffee sometime very soon. "Coffee is an experience" may very well be my new motto!
Posted by: Steph :o) | 10/07/2008 at 09:11 PM
I am SO with you on Rule #5-- the experience part.
Rule #3. NOT SO MUCH. December ONLY?!?!?!? Oh my goodness.
I have my own rules, too.
Most of the year is reserved for cool/iced drinks-- (lattes, Cool Coffee Creams and Mocha Milkshakes) until it gets cool enough to transition to Pumpkin Spice lattes or (thank the good Lord) EGGNOG lattes.
Mmm! Oh, and I do like Caramel Apple Ciders, too. Which I realize is not coffee but is an experience nonetheless.
A Peppermint Mocha I have not tried. Tell you what: When they're out, let me know, and I'll take you out for one (so that I can try one myself, too, of course!) :)
~Stacy
Posted by: Stacy | 10/07/2008 at 09:45 PM
Ok- I have the same EXACT coffee rules. Well, almost exact. But I did run out on October 1st to get my pumpkin latte and I am looking forward to peppermint mochas come black friday morning!
Posted by: jessica | 10/08/2008 at 12:02 AM
Love the rules. Thanks for sharing them. I just may need to start my own grump therapy in our area.
Angie
Posted by: Angie | 10/08/2008 at 02:01 PM
Do you count february as spring since you seem to have no rules for that month?
Posted by: Eliza | 10/08/2008 at 03:22 PM
Steph - I'm up for it! Let me know when!
Stacy - I knew that eggnog restriction would be too difficult for you, hence the special dispensation. ;) I'm pretty sure a cool coffee cream is appropriate ANY time of year. It's almost a REQURIEMENT on the really hot days. Looking forward to sharing a Peppermint Mocha outing with you after Thanksgiving. But in the meantime... WHERE are you getting your caramel apple cider? That sounds scrumptious!! MUST TRY!
Jessica - So glad to hear I'm not the only coffee-looney out there. (Or... maybe WE are the normal ones!)
Angie - If you can get a small group together for Grump, I HIGHLY recommend it. Some weeks we're counting the hours until therapy!
Eliza - I know, I'm severely lacking in rules for the first part of the year. I may have to take suggestions for February. While I ALWAYS enjoy a breve half-sweet vanilla mocha, it's kind of my fall-back drink... appropriate for any time of year. February needs it's own drink! I'd actually love to have one for each month... but I'm pretty picky. :)
Posted by: Hilary Bachelder | 10/08/2008 at 03:50 PM
Okay... I could agree with all of that except I haven't figured out how to slowly drink a coffee. I love to get at it and get it done!
Posted by: Tammy | 10/08/2008 at 09:10 PM
Wow Hilary! This is too funny.
But... I hope we can still be friends as I do not agree with your rules.
Here are mine: two drinks and two drinks only (I can get them at any time of the year but only choose one of these two drinks because every time I deviate I am sorry!)
here are the drinks: 1) (and this is my favorite) 3 shots over ice in a 16 oz cup with a splash of cream or 2) double tall, half the chocolate mocha.
However, you have inspired me to try a peppermint mocha...
Posted by: AmyH | 10/08/2008 at 10:41 PM