Deadlines

I'm getting a tad on the stressed side.  My friends and family are feeling the time crunch with me, but it doesn't feel like the social workers are quite getting the urgency.  Little R just left for a visit with her birthfamily, so I have a few moments to pour (puke?) out my thoughts on the blog.

I just can't wait to share a few details about these children with you, but until we know for sure... I just can't reveal the best parts.

We WANT to know for sure.  That's the big problem right now.  Everything we've seen and heard so far sounds great and we are excited about the idea of making these children a part of our family.  We met the children April 1st and have been trying to get an appointment to read their files since then.  It's a necessary step before bringing them home - to make sure we know all we can about them and there aren't any big red flags to investigate before we commit.  But for almost 2 months, we've been waiting.  Pushing our agency and letting them try to push the state workers.  Maybe I don't push hard enough. 

The meeting I mentioned in my last post got moved from Tuesday to Thursday.  And "more people added", though I don't know who or why or even what the agenda of this big meeting is, but I certainly hope it's about getting us in to the office to read those records, because we are running out of time.

When we had our first meeting at the end of March, and when we met the children in April, they didn't know they were being adopted.  They didn't even know there was a possibilty.  But the family wants them to transition when school gets out, so they have to tell them soon... and they've chosen THIS FRIDAY.  To tell them they are moving, that they are being adopted, and about the family that wants them and are going to be their forever family.  Us. 

And we DO want them.  The kids we think they are, the parts we know so far (good and bad)... only we haven't read their records yet.  So we haven't officially said "yes" yet.  And although, like I said, everything we've seen so far looks great, there's still a chance, however small, that we'd have to say "no."  And if the social workers don't get us in to read those records soon, they may have already been told they are coming to our house... then have to be told they aren't.  That we don't want them.  And that thought just kills me.  But we have other kids to protect.  Kids we've already committed to.  And for that reason unfortunately there are a few things that (should we come across them in the files) could be deal-breakers.  The social workers have given the family the impression that we've already said yes.  And as much as we want to, we haven't had enough information to make that decision yet.

It's hard to think of anything else when it feels like we're stuck in limbo.  We get e-mails about other children who need a place to go, but if these kids come, we're "full".  Our foster care capacity (based on the size of our home) is reached.  I promised our agency director when we were talking last week "No more kids!"  (At least not until this is sorted out.)  If we get to adopt R, too, we're done until/unless we buy another house... or figure out how to make some kids from scratch. 

Here's what I can tell you:

T is a boy.  He's 7.  (Did you get that? A 7 year old boy... just like Sam). He's quiet, but also friendly and sweet. And amazingly handsome.  He knows what it's like to be picked on and is the kid who rises above it, and sticks up for the other kids that are getting picked on.  Sounds like the perfect brother for Sam.  He's an introvert, keenly observant, and has had a pretty rough start in life due to his birthparents' circumstances, and through no fault of his own.

H is a girl.  She's 5.  (Just like Hallie.)  She's a tad on the (hyper)active side but loves fairies and princesses and all things girly.  (Just like Hallie.)  She's a cutie, full of life and personality.  And she wants a mama.  She's acutely aware of the fact that she doesn't have one right now, wears her heart on her sleeve and wants someone to love and snuggle her. 

Friday would be perfect for us to read those records, if they will work it out at the meeting tomorrow.  Brian's off work on Fridays, it's almost certain we can find a sitter, and if they get us in early enough, we can hopefully give a definite answer BEFORE the kids are told. 

Pray with us for that, will you?

Comments

[Amy/southkona]

I am definitely praying for you.
How exciting!

[Eliza]

I will pray for you, and I wish there were more I could do!

[Tami]

You and your hubby are doing a GREAT JOB. Your strenth is fantastic! Keep it up. So proud of you too!!

[AmyH]

Praying for you guys today!