Bad day.

We went to the "big meeting" today, and were totally steamrolled.  Once again, we were not told the real intent of this meeting.  We were told we were coming to discuss the situation with the children.  In reality, the meeting focus was "the law says the children have to go to a relative if one is available, so how are we going to handle the transition?"  We were blindsided.  The social worker told us if the family member's adoptive homestudy went through, then the case would go before a judge to decide.  At the meeting we were told that's not true - they are relatives, so we lose.  We have to start sending them to visits with the relatives in 2 weeks, working the way up to longer visits, whole weekends, and eventually (when their homestudy is complete, in about 3 months), handing them over to people they only remember meeting once prior to this, making them face yet another transition, more confusion, and drop out of their lives forever, then come home and try to put the lives of our other children back together after allowing their brother and sister (and their best friends) to be taken away.  We are still praying for a miracle... a loophole... anything.  I can't face losing our children.

These bracelets were made by T & H's birth cousin for our whole family.  It was nice to share a moment putting them all on together before putting them to bed tonight... the first night of what will likely be a dreadful season in our lives.

Comments

[Marty]

I am so very sorry. In the end, it's the children that lose, all of them. Sending prayers your way. Genetics don't make you a good parent or the right one for these children.

[Susan]

Where have these relatives been? Here a relative is first choice also, but within the first couple of months. After that, it doesn't matter. Do you have an attorney? I think at least a consultation with an experienced attorney might be worth the investment. I think a judge should decide now, don't put these kids through a situation that may not work out. Can you write a letter to a supervisor or higher up? Don't take no for an answer! I had friends who went all the way to the top of the chain before they got their yes!
Praying for you.

[Carolynn Slocum]

Hilary, I am so sorry for all that you have been through. We are praying for you and all that lies ahead. For strength, preserverance and God's comfort and grace.

[Caroline K]

My heart sank when I read this post, I am so sorry for you and your family. I can't imagine losing something so precious. I hope that a miracle will happen for you and YOUR children.

[Tami]

It would not be nice to put in type what I am thinking right now!!! Praying for all of your hearts.

[Chantel M]

My heart aches for you Hilary. I will continue to pray!!!

[Stacy]

Ugh.

Praying. That God would find that "loophole" and have them stay.

Love to you all..

[Sarah]

I am praying and I want to encourage you to HIRE A LAWYER ASAP!

[rebecca m]

Oh... This makes me so sad! I'll be praying for your family!

[Eliza]

So,so sorry...praying!

[shawn]

Hilary, I am so very sorry. I am so disappointed in our legal system as it pertains to children.
Have you considered (I'm sure you've probably considered ewverything!) heading across the street, explain your circumstance to the Bishop, and ask for some geneaology help? I think Mormons are the experts on it. Just maybe they'd be willing to help.

[~beautyandjoy~]

Oh, this makes me cry. I could just hear your heart as a mama in it and my throat is all choked up. I am so sorry. I am praying for legal, spiritual, emotional, practical, any-kind-you-can-get help. I am also in town and a friend of friends - I will keep praying!

[AmyH]

This is so discouraging. I am so mad for you! I will just pray.

[Kara]

We've had a lot of experience in miracles this summer, we'll be praying for one for you too.