The social workers say they'll check the info we have (on Brian's lineage) against the info they have on the children's birthdad... because of having the same last name. But we all know social workers are overworked and don't have "spare time" for geneology searches. So I don't know when they think they'll do that.
We found a DNA test, the Y-STR, that can test any two males and determine if they are from the same paternal line. (Different than a paternity test... it's for ANY two male relatives, not just father and son.) We found a lab in our area, set up an appointment, and paid a hefty deposit. And the social worker said no. It interferes with T's privacy rights to have him tested. Seriously? It defies his privacy to find out if he's biologically related to his (pre)-adoptive father? So we are out that money and back at square one.
I e-mailed a lawyer last night, at the suggestion of a friend who has been through this. What I found out is... we have no rights. The department (the state) can petition the courts, through their attorney to get permission for a DNA test, but we are getting the impression they are unwilling.
We asked their social worker's supervisor why the children don't have a Guardian Ad Litem, or a CASA (both are assigned to speak on behalf of a child, to make sure their best interests are being served.) The answer we got was "they only get a GAL or CASA if there is a need for one." And we seem to disagree on whether or not they need one.
The only chance of this going before a judge is if something (a big red flag) comes up in the relatives' homestudy. So while that seems like an awful thing to pray for... please pray that ANY problems or ulterior motives would be revealed. I'm not asking for more problems, just that whatever is there would be clearly seen by the homestudy worker.
Pray for the children. All of them. Pray about the confusion and disruption that is about to strike the lives of our new children. (They are still mine.) Pray for the loss that our "old" children will likely have to face.
And if you would?... Pray for me. Pray that the Lord would ward off the depression that is threatening and replace it with His grace and hope and peace and joy.
Tears are welling for you Hilary. I will be praying. Praying over the hearts of all your children; praying against depression; praying for comfort in the fact that NO MAN can stand in the way of what GOD has willed. This whole thing just makes me feel angry...what a dumb situation. Going to God for you.
Posted by: Jodi | 09/10/2009 at 07:32 PM
I am thinking good thoughts for you and your children. Moving them is going to cause so much heartache.
Posted by: Rebecca | 09/11/2009 at 11:19 AM
UGH!!!I will keep praying. So sorry you are going through this.
Posted by: Carolynn Slocum | 09/11/2009 at 10:08 PM
I'm praying from here in Australia
Posted by: Kylie | 09/13/2009 at 04:22 AM
Hil~ I'm so sorry. My heart goes out to each of you. Praying. L-K
Posted by: Kristie | 09/14/2009 at 09:30 PM
So i am a goof when it comes to commenting on blogs. I wrote to you about this subject on the wrong one. I think it is on your cute nieces spotlight! ooopppss!!
Posted by: JoAnn | 09/15/2009 at 06:03 AM
Hi Hilary -
This is Katherine, Brian's friend from Concordia. I'm a professional genealogist and I'm able to research EVERYTHING about EVERYONE with all my resources - and all for free! How can I help???
- Katherine
Posted by: Katherine Lange-Willson | 09/20/2009 at 08:00 AM
TypePad HTML EmailTHANK YOU!!! We are just about to leave for church, but we would be THRILLED to have your help and will call this afternoon. Will you be around?
Hilary :)
Posted by: Hilary | 09/20/2009 at 09:33 AM