I got a call from the childrens' social worker yesterday afternoon.
"We found out we weren't following the law by not moving them yet. So we need to move them sooner."
"And I also found out that if you aren't at least a 2nd cousin, it doesn't matter if you're related."
So it appears to be over. There's a meeting Thursday morning to sort out the details of exactly when Tyler and Hailey will move to their Great Aunt and Uncle's house. And the only clue about when is "They don't usually move them the same day." Nevertheless, the weekend's 2 hour visit with Auntie has now been turned into an all-weekend, overnight visit. My estimate? They'll be gone within 2 weeks. My assumption? This weekend.
We've told Sam and Hallie. They cried. (Tyler and Hailey are in the middle of a visit at Cornwall Park with thier birthmom. It's a beautiful day for an outside visit.) Hallie is angry at the aunt. I can't blame her. Sam insisted he didn't want any brother except Tyler, but realized within a few minutes, as much as he'd miss Tyler, (and he will, deeply), the thought of life with no brother sounded worse than trying a different one. But we're holding off talking about that until it's a done deal. Sam wants "visits", Hallie wants "letters." But Hallie's biggest concern: "Is it just this time?"
The real question was if we could make sure this doesn't happen again... that the next ones stay. I assured her we'll do everything we can. After this fiasco, I don't think we can entertain the notion of any kids that aren't legally free. It's just too painful. We talked about the possibility that Tyler and Hailey may come back... several people involved think the aunt is just trying to get the kids for birthmom, until she can get them back (which isn't going to happen) and to let her see them more in the meantime. If that gets found out, the kids will be removed from that aunt's home... and put back in ours. But Brian wants something in writing (a relinquishment, a statement that all other relative options have been exhausted... something!) And the transition specialist agreed emphatically that that should be part of the agreement, so that there's no question next time around, that if they come back here, they aren't leaving again. If a disruption happens, I think it will occur pretty early on. If we don't see them back by Christmas, I assume we won't see them again.
They'll be back from their visit a little after 5. Once they settle back in (it takes a while, if last week was any indication), I'll sit them down for a talk, so they can hear the news from me instead of from Hallie in a moment of anger.
I am sorry that you all are having to go through this. Our prayers are with you all!
Blessings,
Dawn
Posted by: Dawn | 09/22/2009 at 03:34 PM
Devastating. I am so sorry for you all. I will pray for God to keep them healthy, safe, and in the right home, whichever it may be. (But I have some opinions of which one that is.) I'll pray for you all to be at peace when the transition is over.
Posted by: shawn | 09/22/2009 at 04:09 PM
I am so sorry that you have to do this. I cannot imagine how difficult this must be. Praying for you.
Posted by: Angie | 09/22/2009 at 05:47 PM
How my heart hurts for everyone involved in this...except that Aunt. I'm with you Hallie! Praying, Kristie
Posted by: Kristie | 09/22/2009 at 06:06 PM
I am sorry your family is dealing with this. But as the saying goes, it's better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all. There is a reason for all this and I am praying that broken hearts will mend quickly.
Posted by: Kim | 09/22/2009 at 08:45 PM
I am so mad about this for all of you. You seem to be handling it very well, I am not sure I could do it. I agree with your opinion that the aunt is just doing it for the mom...we will be praying for ALL of you as you go through this transition. I hope it is short lived and they come back to you.
Posted by: Carrie | 09/22/2009 at 08:48 PM
Oh Hillary, I'm so sorry for you all. We'll be praying for all of you.
Posted by: Kara | 09/22/2009 at 09:05 PM
I'm so sorry Hillary! I will pray for their return!
Posted by: Eliza | 09/23/2009 at 01:38 AM
I know you've had a huge impact in their lives! I'm so sorry and am praying.
Koe
Posted by: Koe | 09/23/2009 at 05:30 AM
:( This is so sad. I've been following your story for awhile now (but only commented when you first got T & H), and this is truly devastating. I hope they do get to come back to you.
Posted by: Michelle | 09/23/2009 at 11:00 AM
I am so so sorry and will be praying.
Posted by: sarah | 09/23/2009 at 01:27 PM
It sucks so much for all of you. Much, much love to you all, but especially you Hilary. We're all here.
Posted by: Rebecca | 09/23/2009 at 01:31 PM
Oh how sad this is! Praying for you all.
Posted by: rebecca m | 09/23/2009 at 02:41 PM
So sorry Hilary for all this pain. You are all in my prayers!
Posted by: Karyn Norris | 09/23/2009 at 06:26 PM
It is devestating. All the way around. I'm so sorry.
Posted by: ~beautyandjoy~ | 09/23/2009 at 09:10 PM
I have been following your story through your blog. I am praying for you and your family. May the peace that passes all understaniding be with all of you. I know that the Lord will keep watch over these innocent children and keep them safe.
Posted by: Jessica | 09/24/2009 at 10:43 AM