Praying for...

Here's how you can pray for our family this week, if you are so inclined.

Sam

Sam is on a new medication, Vyvanse.  I'm not looking for a medication debate... those who know Sam well would likely understand his need, but some will no doubt disagree with our choice to try to find "a pill" to help him.  Our past experiences (a few years ago) trying to find something that worked for him were fruitless.  This one, so far, seems to be better in a lot of ways.  His mind is still running a mile a minute, and in full Asperger's mode... but taking out part of the ADHD componenet helps him control his body and focus some of that brilliant mind.  Pray that we would be able to make the right decision on whether the "pros" outweigh the protential "cons."  Pray also for his tender heart.  His brother, when in the midst of a tantrum, sometimes lashes out and says things about Sam that are hurtful.  We are addressing this as best we can with BOTH boys, but it hurts us so much to see Sam's heart broken by the brother he has longed for and prayed for and loves so much.

Tyler

I read an article the other day (from the childrens' new trauma and attachment counselor, that they will hopefully be starting to see next week) on "Pre-Finalization Jitters."  It talked about negative behaviors increasing and children lashing out more, just prior to finalization (I have lawyer paperwork in hand!), as one last attempt to push away their new parents, before the parents can reject them first.  This is Tyler in spades right now.  I asked him point-blank about it after one episode last week.  "I read this article... is this what you're trying to do?"  And he said it was.  I don't actually know if children have a concious understanding of these attempts to thwart bonding and attachment... but he claims to.  My prayer request for Tyler is the same as it was before... help him learn to trust, to love, and to allow love in.  (And, of course... that issue with his brother, above.)  Ty also had a rough week after the girls' play last week, being aware that we invited some of their birth relatives to see the show, and none came.  ONE responded and told us why he couldn't make it, but the others just didn't come, and as much as we've tried to explain all the reasons they might not have been able come (money, distance, work schedules, other committments), it's obvious he's making up his own reasons in his head.

Hallie

Attitude.  Wow.  It amazes me that this cute little girl, that we brought home at 3 weeks old, that we have consistently taught to be respectful, to be kind and loving, so often gives in to an ugly, angry, sassy attitude.  Pray that God would reach her heart, and give us ideas on how to reach her from the outside, too.

Hailey

First of all, we are so THANKFUL that Hailey has made such enormous strides.  Her monumental tantrums, that I admit made us briefly wonder if we were making the right decision, have GREATLY decreased over the last month or so.  Her tantrums are now rare, and brief.  What a breath of fresh air, especially when we are dealing with so much from her brother right now.  We do have some concerns about... organic issues... with this child, however, and would like to get some in-depth testing done.  Pray that the process would go smoothly and quickly (as the waiting list is often a year or more.)

Brian

I just have to throw this one in here this week... my dear, kind husband's birthday was yesterday, and I'm very sad and ashamed to say the children made it just awful for him.  Despite my best efforts to make it a fun, relaxing day, the children pulled out all the stops - fighting, lying, arguing, disobeying... just like they did on my birthday, and mother's day, and father's day... see a pattern here?  It's become obvious this is a sabotage issue, likely related to their attachment issues.  (If we show too much love to daddy on his birthday, we're being unfaithful to our birthparents.  If we let him love us, he'll just let us down like everyone else has.  If we get too close, we'll just get hurt...)  I feel so bad for Brian, who was looking forward to a nice day with his family on his 41st birthday, and instead got stress and grief.  (To make it worse, that was his only day off this week, as he's starting a new schedule at work, and the way the old days off and the new days off landed, he only got a ONE day weekend this week.  Pray that I could find a way to make this evening better, peaceful, that we could have a nice evening (or at least an hour) loving and celebrating the daddy that sacrifices so much for them.

Comments

[Shawn @ Daffodil Lane]

Oh Hilary, you have SO much going on. Wow. It brought tears to my eyes. Your loving heart as a mother and wife shines through. I'll stop and pray for you guys right now. Just don't forget how much you are positively impacting this entire family and how much they love you.

[Ellen]

Praying for you!! I'm all for medication supports. at our house, we have: carefully selected meds, wheelchairs, crutches, orthopedic braces, dental braces, sensory equipment,etc. ...all are tools to help bring about a good outcome :)

[Sarah]

Prayers!!

[Rebecca m]

Praying! Thanks for sharing so specifically so we can pray specifically for what you are dealing with.

[Stacy]

I'm stopping to pray right now, Hilary.

(((Hugs))) to you!

[Nikki]

Hilary,
I really admire you. You are doing a mighty, eternal work right there in your home! I will be praying for you and your family.

I also stopped by to pass along a Sunshine Blog Award to you! If you have time, click over and check it out.

http://nikkit3.blogspot.com/2010/08/blog-awards.html

[Tami]

I'm here for you! Beside this, is there anything else . . . ?

[Gwendie]

My husband has a saying - "Eat the elephant one bite at a time." It sounds like your family challenges are of "Mammoth" proportion (pun intended), but know that each bite you take will bring you closer to your end goal. I'm praying that God will give you wisdom as you make decisions for your family and that you will be encouraged as you see each child make forward progress.
(No elephants were harmed in the making of this idiom.)
P.S Happy birthday Brian!

[Carolynn Slocum]

Thank you for the update, I miss you. I pray that Brian knows how much he is loved and can see through the sabotage. I am praying.

[Erica]

I linked onto your blog from Renee's and this is the first post I've read.

I don't know how old Sam is (Im assuming he's young) but I'm 16, diagnosed with Asperger's, and I can tell you, it get's easier.

I'm praying for you and your family.