Baby K's birthmom sent me a note via the transporter (the lady that picks K up for her visits and drops her back off after) last week, asking for a Christmas photo of K (I'd been meaning to send one and hadn't gotten around to having it printed yet). Monday morning I went to upload a few photos to Fred Meyer, so I could pick them up that afternoon... and they weren't on my computer. NONE of my photos were on my computer. There wasn't even a "My Pictures" folder anymore. As a matter of fact, all of my documents and music were gone, too. I was in a state of shock... Everything? Gone? I checked my external hard drive, knowing I'd been remiss in backing up, and found the last time I'd backed up my photos was in October... which means I ONLY had photos of Baby K's first 2 weeks of life. I'd lost SIX MONTHS of photos of my baby!!!
I have been able to compile a small collection since then, from my blog, from another blog I was starting, in case we were able to adopt her (to post updates for birthfamily, like we do for Gideon and Molly's family... thankfully the Christmas photo I needed was there!), from mine and Brian's facebook, and from friends who had snapped a few photos of her over the first 1/2 year of her life. I have enough that it doesn't look like we've COMPLETELY ignored her existence. I still long for the photos that are missing, and am in contact with an old friend whose brother is a data forensics specialist and may be able to help me find the files if there's any trace of them left on that laptop... waiting to hear back about meeting up to pass him the computer.
But as I was saying...
It occurred to me that sending that photo (and a few others) to K's birthparents was also the perfect opportunity to send a letter (I got approval from the SW and Guardian Ad Litem first) urging them to sign relinquishment papers before their rights are terminated and they lose the chance to choose where their baby ends up, and any hope for an open adoption agreement! I spent over an hour on the letter, and hope I properly communicated our love for K, her attachment to us, the detriment it would be to move her after this long, and the urgency to sign SOON if they intend to. I printed the letter, signed it, and tucked it in the visit bag with the photos.
Then before the visit time arrived Wednesday morning... the SW called. They are moving things forward. I don't know what the sudden rush is, but they've decided not to wait around for termination. They've scheduled a meeting for next Wednesday morning - representatives of the department, birthparents, the adoptive family of K's older brother (who want K), and myself. Basically, they are putting it all on the line, in less than a week. Everyone comes, talks, discusses, and a plan is made for K. Which means if the birthparents don't sign relinquishment to us in the next 6 days (or, last chance, at the meeting itself)... the state has to go with policy and place her with her biological brother's adoptive family.
We're praying and trusting God to do what's best for K and for all of us, but oh... my flesh is nervous.
Keeping you in my prayers.
Posted by: Crystal in Lynden | 04/21/2011 at 04:30 PM
praying! praying! keep the updates coming! i can't wait to hear what the LORD has planned. praying for you not to worry, but to surrender! xoxoxo Amy
Posted by: Amy White | 04/21/2011 at 05:18 PM
Praying, praying, praying, praying
Posted by: Kylie | 04/21/2011 at 08:52 PM
Praying and praying hard
Posted by: Emily | 04/22/2011 at 01:55 AM
It's amazing how different states operate.
Our current birthparents just signed TPR and even though the plan is for us to adopt, the bmom said she only had one question before she signed was if we were goingt adopt. We said yes if they let us. But, the attorney for DCS said signing was not an incentive that would guarantee our adopting her.
And since we have the other siblings(adopted) she was immdiately placed with us at removal. We were asked if we would adopt otherwise they were going to place her somewhere else.
Since you have the option of relinquishment, I pray they make that choice. What a life God has chosen for us, but he knew what he was doing, even though it is hard for us.
Posted by: Susan | 04/22/2011 at 12:24 PM
Your heart must be beating so fast. This is when the Lord says, "Be Still and Know that I AM God"
I am praying you have time to be still. Trusting is so very difficult.
Posted by: Carolynn Slocum | 04/22/2011 at 02:00 PM
Thank you for sharing your journey, and your faith!
You are in our prayers...
Posted by: Bridget | 04/26/2011 at 10:41 AM