Baby K leaves for her first visit tomorrow. Brian and the kids will say goodbye at home, then I'll take her (and the first bin of her belongings) to a local park to meet her new family. She'll meet them with me present for maybe a couple of minutes... then they'll load her in their fancy expensive car and drive away, thrilled as can be. And I'll go cry in my car for a while before driving to a doctor's appointment that's been set up for weeks. After which I'll come home without my baby.
This isn't for good just yet. We'll get her back on Monday, for a few days. We've asked them to meet us outside the attachment therapist's office. It's convenient for us (since we'll be down there for the other children's appointments anyway), it's convenient for them (30 minutes from their home instead of over 2 hours.), and my hope is that they'll log the office somewhere in the back of their memories... so that when K and her brother are a bit older and starts showing signs... they'll go to this office for help and not waste precious time with counselors who don't understand.
In a few minutes, we'll have a visitor here at our house. K's transporter (who for months has been picking K up for her birthparent visits, supervising and reporting to the SW about the visits, then dropping her back off at home) is having a hard time with the judge's ruling, too. She said she'd been "melancholy" all day yesterday and couldn't get K off her mind. Since her new family is in a different area, she was concerned she wouldn't see her again (which is a very real possibility), so she asked if she could stop by, and of course I said yes. Guess I better make myself and this place presentable...
Praying for you and your precious family.
Posted by: kippi | 06/23/2011 at 12:06 PM
You are still in my prayers. This is so wrong and heartbreaking.
Posted by: Rachel | 06/23/2011 at 12:13 PM
This is so wrong, and I am so much praying for you. Have you been in communication with this new family? Have you been able to discuss attachment issues with them?
Posted by: tarynkay | 06/23/2011 at 12:20 PM
ugh. heavy hears for you guys.
Posted by: Amy White | 06/23/2011 at 12:43 PM
I can't get you and your family off my mind...I've been praying for you guys throughout my days...heavy heart doesn't even begin to describe how I feel for you...I've never personally met you, but I can't help but cry when I think about everything you and your family are going through, and the disruption to Baby K's life...I wish there was more that I could do...but know we are praying for you all....
Posted by: Ashley Drake | 06/23/2011 at 03:14 PM
I have respected you since I found your blog, for being able to take children who needed you more than an average child needs a parent. And also, for being able to handle loosing them. I say this, because she needed your home and your love but it hurts you so terribly. I am not able to do it, so I have more respect because you can. I am afraid I wouldnt be so strong. She is so lucky to have had you and your family for so long and God will be with her. I pray desperately that this ruling is turned around so that your baby is back with your family forever.
Posted by: Jo | 06/23/2011 at 07:01 PM
Reading my own comment was terrible just now... Am so sorry to have sounded like some children need parents less than others, all of our children need us. But some of them need their adults to stand up against such change, because it does lead to attachment issues causing them to have more needs. I didnt mean to say the children without attachment problems do NOT need their parents, they do very much.
Posted by: Jo | 06/23/2011 at 07:02 PM
I'm so glad you were able to extend it even a little. Although I know the chances of getting this reversed are pretty small, did you turn in all your letters and your statement anyway? If enough foster parents let the judges know how heartbreaking this is for their families, and if they hear enough about attachment, it might start to sway them in future cases. The judges might only see the super happy "winning" family, and never hear anything from anyone again.
Praying for all of you,
Colleen
Posted by: Colleen | 06/24/2011 at 09:22 AM