Lots of silence around here lately. I hope to get back into it... but I think I've been avoiding this post. Time to just get it out there and move forward. The school year is about to start again, and we have lots of fun planned. I want to record it for our family record (blog book), and while this post holds me up, I can't do that.
So... here's the deal. Brian and I are separated. Heading toward divorce. We are in negotiation (amicably, without professional or legal involvement) over details, like the house and the children. Lots to decide. Do the kids and I stay here, and he gets an apartment, or do I get an apartment and have a "fresh start" (and no responsibility for maintenance) with the children, and they'll have the familiarity of this home when they are with daddy? I'm leaning toward the latter. And what kind of visitation schedule do we set up? Lots to decide.
I'm not going to spill all the details of our splitting up here. Just know it's what we know is right, despite the spiritual implications. Those closest to us know a lot of the details... but still not all. It's an unfortunate situation, but we're making the best of it. And I think I'll just leave it at that.
We both can use support during this time and the changes to come. If you can be supportive, we thank you. If you can't... well, I'm afraid I'll have to respectfully ask you to keep your criticism to yourself. We've been around and around this, and we're past the point of being talked out of it... you'll only alienate yourself from us by telling us how wrong we are. (Yes, we've had plenty of that.) You have every right to THINK it... just keep it to yourself, please. It's not helpful.
Since I know a lot of you follow this blog for updates on the children (and our adoption and fostering journey), let me assure you, the kids are doing great. Their therapist was involved (as was mine) with us telling them about the separation, and both have been a huge support. The kids are thriving. In a lot of ways, I think they are dealing with this very healthily. They are sharing their feelings, talking through things, and it's not unrelated to our deciding to "be real" and not fake this marriage anymore.
So... that's that. Hopefully the blog can return to a more normal schedule now that the elephant in the room has been identified.