Making A Home

Ridiculous

April 14, 2011

 
Must be global warming.

In Which Winter Comes Early

I don't remember ever having snow on the ground for nearly a week before Thanksgiving.  I flurry here or there perhaps, but never like this.

It snowed Friday night, and it was quickly apparent that "trace to 1 inch" was turning into 3 or 4. I certainly don't mind.  I love snow.  I love the beauty of it (until two neighbor dogs decided to spend the next evening wrestling over every square foot of my pristine front yard!)  I love the fun and traditions (snow play followed by hot chocolate and snow donuts).  And mostly, I love being snowed in.  Of course, Brian still has to get to work, so it isn't so convenient for him!

I had told the children there was a possibility of snow, and Hallie noticed it first, from her bed, at about 9pm.  She YELLED to alert the rest of us.  Always wanting my children's good memories to outweigh the times I said "no" to harmless fun... I told them they were welcome to dance in the front yard for a few minutes while the snow fell.

 
 
 

 

 
 

The next morning they were up early and couldn't wait to get out there and play.  Here are my girls all dressed up for snow...

 

Seriously??  Yes, I sent them back for sweatshirts and jackets. 

 

Hallie lasted about her usual 7 minutes out there, then came back in "freezing!"  The others lasted longer, but within 30 minutes, they were all back in, ready for hot chocolate (with whipped cream and sprinkles), and waiting for me to finish the homemade donuts (tradition for the first time snow covers the ground each year.)

 

 
 
 
 
 

 

Saturday morning, we had every intention of going to the adoption movie, dropped the baby at a babysitter (a kind friend just 2 blocks away) and got all of 2 more blocks before my husband decided the roads were just too slick and we'd have to skip the movie.  Thankfully, we still had Toy Story 3 waiting at home, that we hadn't gotten to watching yet since it came out on DVD.  So all was not lost, but we were still bummed to have missed the movie.

Lots of hearty winter food this week: beans and rice, chili, homemade chicken noodle soup (with homemade noodles), parmesan pasta with homemade spaghetti, mac and cheese with homemade macaroni, and tonight I'm planning Taco Soup.

I finished my blog 2008 blog book and uploaded it for publishing (FedEx brought it today!  Hooray!)

I'm organizing the dreaded "utility drawer" (among other things) and I'm getting ahead on printing and copying things for our homeschooling that I always seem to scramble on each Sunday night and Monday Morning.  Snow works for me.

 

Update

I know, I know... it seems like I only blog reviews these days.  I was talking to a friend the other day who made reference to my blog and I joked that she was thinking "Oh yay!  Hilary blogged!  Oh... no she didn't."  And she agreed, yes, that was exactly what she's thought.

So, while I'm too tired, to lazy, or... insert some other excuse here... to blog all the individual events (I still intend to... when things slow down, ha ha) and include pictures, I definitely owe you all an update in the meantime.

Baby K is still with us.  She is as darling as ever and we are enjoying her so much!  I've felt really blessed this time around to have some contact with her birthmom, who has attended every scheduled visit (save one she rescheduled, but did call ahead of time and attended the make-up).  No... make that birthPARENTS... dad has come to every visit, too!  Honestly... I have no idea why this child is in our home.  There's just no way to predict how long she'll be with us.  Would we adopt her, given the chance?  You bet.  Will we have that opportunity?  Hard to believe with her birthparents coming to all the visits and being so attentive.  But that's in God's hands, not ours.  I don't feel like I have enough rapport with this social worker (not one I've worked with before) to probe yet.  I really want an ISSP (Individual Service and Safety Plan) - a document that lays out why they are in care, what the birthparents are supposed to be doing to comply with the plan for reunification, and where the case stands.  The visit supervisor said she'd bring me the SW's e-mail address tomorrow (he hasn't gotten ANY of the voicemails I've left him, so I need another form of communication) and hopefully I can ask him about the ISSP early next week... if they even have one yet.

In the day-to-day, K eats about every 3 hours, round the clock.  (Pretty normal, I think.)  She had 3 visits and a doctor's appointment last week.  This week, 3 visits, a developmental screening, a hearing test, and another doctor's appointment.  Next week, 3 visits and a WIC appointment!  As if the loss of sleep weren't enough to make me tired, I'm running myself ragged with all her appointments (in addition to 3 of my own this week, still recovering from that car accident in August!) 

And while I'm laying it all out there... oh, the temptations that have come along the last few weeks.  Two different sibling groups in the age range I would LOVE (both consisting of a 1 year old and a baby)... both foster-adopt.  Landing in my e-mail box.  Oh, the agony!!  I want these precious children!  But our house doesn't seem to be growing any, and really... with baby K, our van is full, too. Even if she left, we don't have room for 2 more without buying a bigger van.  And that means a VAN van... a 10 or 12 passenger monster.  Are we ready for that?  Eek.

Molly's birthday was yesterday.  Now both of my "big girls" are 7!  We celebrated with a friend the day before (they share a birthday... how fun is that?) with gifts and cupcakes and Jump Around Fun Zone.  I'll try to blog that SOON.  (No nasty comments about not having blogged Disneyland yet... or I may have to go off about the HUNDRED DOLLARS I spent to print a photobook of the trip.  But that's for another post, too... maybe.)  I didn't tell her we were going to her party until we were in the van, on the way to the venue, with another van full of friends following us.  We've had sabotage issues this year, with the new kids' attachment issues making them psychotic (exaggerating slightly) on holidays... so we thought it best to not hype it up this year.  We had the party, stopped by Grandma's house (my mom's house) for a few minutes, picked up Taco Time (her choice of birthday dinner), opened the rest of the gifts from us, then called it a day.  It was nice... celebratory, but understated.  She tried so hard to keep track of when her birthday was, but as I expected, she lost count and thought it was still 4 days off.

Gideon's birthay is in 2 weeks, and we've told him we won't be telling him ahead of time when his birthday will be celebrated either.  They know why.  Unfortunately, it was Sam (who ran out of his Vyvanse just in time for party day... ugh!) and Hallie (who has raging jealousy issues) who made the evening difficult.  But all in all, it was a good day.

And now, my brain has shut down for the evening and I can't remember what else I was going to say!  

Signing off... Hilary :) 

A Portrait of Our Day, July 8, 2010

My new shoes.  They've been on my birthday list for several years.  I finally broke down and bought them for myself... on ebay.  Air Mail from Hong Kong.

My whistle.  Uh huh.  I got tired of raising my voice, so I pulled this baby out of the "prize bin" and put it on a ribbon around my neck.  And yes, they all have their own special tune that means "come here!"  Think "Sound of Music."  I don't know how long I'll use it, but it sure worked nicely yesterday!

 Not one, but TWO swimming pools.  With the temps reaching 90 (very unusual for our region), I had to let the children swim (our dirt is clay, so sprinklers make our yard a SWAMP.)  But Tyler has a MRSA outbreak on his knee, so until he's done with his antibiotics, he can't share pool water with the other children.  So he gets his own, and the other three share.  Next week I'll have to bleach that pool and all the toys he used.

 
Two crockpots on the picnic table.  I really didn't want to heat up the house, and as small as our house is, even ONE crockpot can really affect the temperature.  So I set these up outside... one had chicken and sauce, the other, potatoes (for mashed). 

Clothes on the clothesline.  That just SCREAMS "Summer!" to me.

Fresh lemons and fresh, homemade lemonade.  Mmmm....

5 lemons, sliced, 1 1/2 cups sugar, water to fill a gallon pitcher.  Mash and stir.

 
 And because I know some of you are wondering... no news on the adoption.  It seems most everyone is taking vacation this month, so I've heard nothing... absolutely nothing. 

We are frantically preparing for our annual camp, then a big campout the following weekend, and since a friend reminded me there are less than 8 weeks until school starts again... I'm trying to gather supplies and get a jump on my planning!  We also have 2 of our children's birthdays in the next 2 weeks!
 

Brill.

As in... brilliant.

My new darling daughter (age 6) has epic fits.  Epic.  Really long, really big, really... loud, defiant... you get the idea.  (Remember... attachment.)  Her trick a few weeks ago was to run into the bathroom (our ONLY bathroom) during one of her fits and pull open the drawer right behind the door so no one could open it.  She's lived with us 5 months, total, and the truth is, I don't know what she's capable of.  Would she trash the place?  Harm herself?  Crawl out the window and run away?  I don't think so, but for her safety and our comfort (remember... one bathroom in this house), it was imperative that we fix this little problem.  I got her out that time by threatening (actually promising, I guess, since it wasn't an empty threat) to start throwing away her toys one at a time until she opened the door.  And it worked again the next time, but required the demise of several toys first... her resolve was getting stronger. 

So this time, I just removed the drawer. 

It's been out for a few weeks, looked terrible missing, and was cluttering up our shed until I figured out what to do with it. I was lamenting the problem a few days ago while on the phone with my mother and she shared a trick from my great grandfather (who passed away just before Easter, and would have been 100 this year.) 

When we were growing up, my brother had a desk in his room that belonged to Great Grandpa.  (He may have even built it, I'm not sure.)  But wise old Grandfather had installed a very "high-tech" lock in the top drawer of the desk...

He drilled a hole from the next section over, through the drawer, then inserted a long nail through the hole.  If you didn't know it was there, you'd never notice it, and it kept the drawer from opening.  The same trick worked on the bathroom drawer.  I re-installed the drawer, and the "fancy" lock this morning.

Brilliant.

Farewell, Jake

On Monday, some friends came over to ride to Cub Scouts with Brian and Sam.  As the entered the livingroom, our beagle-dog Jake jumped up and bit Enoch.  Jake has NEVER bitten ANYONE!  And Enoch hadn't even touched Jake yet, so we know he wasn't provoked.  (Jake was tethered to the piano at the time, because my grandpa was here fixing the boys' bedroom door.  When the front door opens, Jake has a tendency to bolt, so we often tether him if we know someone is coming over.)

Brian and I were absolutely shocked.  We felt horrible for Enoch, of course (Jake's bite had left a mark on his side that looked like a scratch), but our minds immediately went to the children we have coming home on Sunday... that if Jake had bitten one of THEM, we'd run the risk of losing them, losing our foster license, and possibly our chance to adopt!  (Depending on the person making the decisions.)

So we made the hard call, and before the boys had even left for scouts, I sent an e-mail to Jake's previous owner asking if she'd be able to take him back, explaining what had happened, and that we had to have a no-tolerance policy on biting.  She was flabbergasted, but agreed.

When they boys came back from Scouts, Enoch came back in to gather his brother's things that had been accidentally left behind.  Jake was no longer tethered and this time tore THROUGH the house, straight at Enoch, who was understandably terrified, and as he turned to get away, Jake bit him in the rear.  Again, he didn't truly break skin, but it absolutely cemented our decision that he had to go.  (The only thing we can think that set Jake off about Enoch was his tan Webelos uniform.  The other boys are in blue, but Sam will be in tan in just over a month, too.) 

Hallie was sad, but understood when we explained that people come before dogs.  Sam had a harder time with that.  He felt bad for his friend that was bit, but is very attached to the dog.  He cried hard and for quite a while.  I was able to snap this final photo before Brian took Jake back to his old owner.

 
  
Hallie - 6, Jake - 5, Sam - 8

We'll miss you, Jake.  Thanks for the sweet snuggles and for being my (and Sam and Hallie's) first dog.  (Wish us luck when we tell Tyler and Hailey... Jake was one of the things they were looking forward to about coming home!)

Catch-up

ADOPTION

Court is this morning.  Our very best scenario is that birthmom doesn't show up, defaults and loses her parental rights.  Second best is that she accepts a communication agreement and relinquishes.  Third best, the judge terminates her rights... but that leaves her open for an appeal and drags this thing out.  Either of the first 2 options lets us dive right into making a transition plan to get our kids back home for good.  I don't feel like I'm overly nervous about it... but I woke up at 4 this morning and couldn't get back to sleep.

HEALTH

The CT scan showed the issue with my lungs was just residual from the pneumonia and should remedy itself.  The problem is, it never fully went away last year.  So i'm giving it a few more weeks with the antibiotics and inhalers, and if I'm still coughing or gurgling, I'm heading back to the doctor to try something else.  (I just wish I didn't have the bills from the x-ray and CT to look forward to!)

FAMILY

My great grandpa passed away on Friday at the age of 99.  He'll get his own post later this week.

EASTER

Our kids got "Spring bags" on the first day of Spring as usual, in lieu of Easter Baskets... a bit of candy, mostly.  We did not make Resurrection Cookies this year, but hope to pick that tradition back up next year, especially andticipating our new children to be here, who haven't experienced that.  Egg hunts are fun, but have nothing to do with the Resurrection of Jesus, so we'll do one another time, just for fun.  Resurrection Sunday was pretty low key - cinnamon rolls and coffee at home, a great service at church, a bit of downtime at home, then off to my aunt's house for a non-traditional, but very tasty Easter dinner.  (Ham, Fried Chicken, Lasagna, Caesar Salad, Fruit Salad, Cheesy Potatoes.  I made the dinner rolls. Go me! Cake and ice cream for dessert, with homemade warm chocolate sauce.)  Of course the kids came home with a chocolate bunny from grandma and a creme egg from great grandma, which they happily munched (not all of it!) with popcorn during a SHORT movie last night before bed... since Sunday is usually movie night at our house, we decided to squeeze in a little one. 

Are we all caught up now?  Or should we discuss the projects. 

When I told my friend Renee about the kids coming home, she was appropriately excited... and then ended our conversation with "now don't go trying to get the whole house organized before they get here.  You've been sick!"  Hmm... one might say she knows me too well.

HOME

Of course there's a huge list of things I want to get done before the children come home... again.  (Didn't I do this last year?)  I've completed a few. 

- The kids ripped the trampoline surround last year, and the wind took over and SHREDDED it this Winter, as well as wiggling loose most of the bars.  I bought new bolts to replace those that bent or disappeared, an reattached the enclosure.  Then I got the bright idea to grab a large needle and a few skeins of embroidery floss and go to work on that mesh surround.  It took a few hours, but by golly, it seems to have worked!

- I replaced our plastic trays and mismatched flatware with some basic square plates (I love the look of square) and new utensils. 

- I devised a new daily schedule.  (Kids from traumatic backgrounds need extra stability and routine.)  Countless schedules have been made and discarded.  I'm hopeful this one will work out better.

- I created a new "school shelf" with bins in each of the children's colors, space for workbooks, etc.  It's inside.  The schoolhouse is cold, the path to get there is muddy... it just wasn't working out.  I'm still hopeful we can fix it up as a rec room type area - a place to go watch a movie or play a game or read a book that's a little quieter than our house can be at times.  But stomping out there for school everyday through the sloggy yard... ugh.  But back to the shelf... it still needs some organizing and school for 4 needs planning... but at least I have the framework going.

- I ordered new water bottles for everyone, color-coded, of course.  I loved the kids' old ones, but they didn't come in all of the proper colors.  This time we opted for Camelbak bottles.  They are all in at REI except Hailey's... purple.  So when that comes in (estimated for Wednesday), I'll go pick them all up.

Still to do:

- Move all the baby stuff out to the garage. 

- Make room for the incoming clothes.

- Make a plan for the incoming toys.  (We just FINALLY got things figured out and working fairly well with Sam and Hallie's toys, and now we're going to be innundated with a zillion (rough estimate) more.  The truth is, our kids cannot handle having too many things in their bedrooms.  They ALL end up on the floor.  So limiting clothes and limiting toys has been a huge help.  Most of our toys I now have in cubes in the girls' room, to be "checked out" under my supervision rather than free access.  Sam has just a couple small things in his room, and I really think he's happier that way - less fights over cleaning his room.  And that was the biggest issue between the boys when Tyler was home - Ty likes things clean and orderly, Sam... is a tornado.  So even having a ton of Tyler's things in his room will be a big problem.  But limiting the incoming toys is trickier - these kids come from a background of loss and hold onto possessions very tightly.  Several times when they were young they were evicted from their homes and lost everything.  So I have to respect those wounds, too. 

- Organize paperwork.  This last year has been a disaster for papers.  I have piles upon piles that need to be sorted and filed.  With new kids comes a whole lot more papers, and I don't want to misplace anything important.

- Replace the toilet.  Our toilet has leaked (water dripping from between the tank and bowl) since before we bought this house.  The bolts are rusted, so I can't just put in a new gasket or fix the problem... it's out of my realm.  As a result, the floor has been damp there.... for 6 years.  The flooring that was in there when we bought the house has crumbled and had to be removed.  My grandpa was kind enough to replace it for us (while I was in San Francisco having surgery in 2006) with linoleum tiles... but since the dampness continues, those are all coming loose and breaking, too.  At this point, I think I have enough to replace the broken ones... but we have to get that floor all the way dry first, and that means a new toilet.

- Fix bathroom floor (see above.)

- Fix swingset.  It was a decent set in it's day.  Nice pretty wooden one.  But some of the support pieces are wood wrapped in a plastic layer, and the boards under the plastic seem to have broken, so the whole thing bows when anyone swings.  It's kinda scary.  This happened a year ago... so the swingset has NEVER been usable while T&H were here.  I'd like that to be different this time.  I bought some bolts to hopefully use new treated 2x4s to reinforce the existing boards. 

- Take several loads to the dump in order to get the yard looking decent.  That's tricky without a truck.  Regarding the swingset above, a friend has offered us her nicer set, since she's moving out of state at the end of the month, but again... no truck, and limited know-how on taking apart her swingset, moving it here, and getting it put back together.

- Mow the lawn.  It's become a JUNGLE.  Some areas a foot high in the front yard, where there aren't kids and dogs and chickens keeping it down.  Not looking forward to that.  If the weather's decent, Brian hopes to start tackling that this evening... assuming our mower starts.  It's needed a repair every spring so far.

- Get the beds ready for the new kids.  We should have all the sheets and blankets and things we need, but I should re-wash them, get them on the beds, then find a way to keep the dog from laying all over them, and the other kids from messing them up before homecoming.  I also need to cut new vinyl and label their beds like I did before they came the first time, to make them feel welcome, and like they aren't just tennants in Sam and Hallie's rooms.

- Plan school for 4 for the rest of this year.  Make a plan for next.  Get all of the children enrolled in our homeschool partnership program for next year.

- Make up new chore lists.  Figure out what might work this time.  Oddly, Sam and Hallie were better about their chores while Tyler and Hailey were here, so I'm hopeful.

- Inventory the freezer, use up small meals, make more larger meals, make menus.

- Go through the clothes again.  Move smaller sizes out with the baby stuff (we don't anticipate the placement of another child very soon after getting these, so the smaller clothes shouldn't take up the limited space we have indoors.) 

- CLEAN.  EVERYTHING.

And to close (since I've sufficiently wasted time and it's now only 15 minutes from when I was planning to get up anyway... ), a few recent pictures of my sweet niece, Lizzie.  (Taken by ClearImage Portrait Studio in Marysville, owned by one of Lizzie's uncles.)

 

Resolutions 2010

Hallie:

1. Convince mom not to serve cheeseburgers or anything else I don't like at Superbowl.
2. Play princess Wii everyday.
3. Not be afraid of the yucky stuff that gets in the cat water anymore so I can get them fresh water.
4. Get better at reading, because sometimes I don't understand words.

Sam:

1. Win all the levels of MarioKart.
2. Get better at telling stories to my baby sister.  She walks away in the middle of my old stories.
3. Try to get all the kinds of Pokemons on the game.
4. Be able to identify 25 new animals by looking at them.
5. Get first place on all the levels of biking on Wii Fit Plus.
6. Pick up more trash to make the world clean.
7. Do better at getting my chores done so I can get more stars for snack shack.
8. Help daddy clean out the dishwasher to sell.
9. Help Hallie learn to read time better.
10. Get really good at my Plasmacar so I can beat Hallie in an upward race, then go down again.

Brian:

1. Read the Bible all the way through this year.
2. Better moderation with food, for my health.
3. Keep my car clean.

And me...

HEALTH: Exercise at least 5 days a week (usually Wii Fit plus).
SPIRITUAL LIFE: Read Bible daily.  Pray specifically for my children daily.
COOKING: Quantity-cook (enough for several extra freezer meals) at least one recipe a week.
CLEANING: Deep-clean at least one area of my home each week.
FINANCES: Track monthly grocery expenses for the whole year.
PARENTING: Yell less.
MARRIAGE: Take the garbage out more and complain about the full can less.
HOMESCHOOLING: Better organization, so I can stay ahead in my planning.

Other goals:
1. Build a new chicken coop, possibly start a new flock.
2. Organize a bookshelf of "to read this year" books.
3. Stay ahead of menu planning.
4. Get back into Flylady.  I could use it.
5. Figure out a better routine so that foster placements don't wreak havoc on our homeschooling.
6. Save enough money to get a fence put in.
7. Find our children and bring them home.

 

And then on Saturday...

Hallie was still throwing up.  So was Brian.  But Sam... oh, Sam woke up with the energy of... well, of a kid with Asperger's/ADHD who spent the whole day prior on the couch!  Man, that kid was squirrelly.  I wasn't sure what I was going to do with him.  I heard him banging around in the kitchen and upon inspection, found him collecting ingredients... flour, eggs, sugar, cinnamon, baking powder... and 3 satsuma oranges sitting in a glass.  Any guesses? 

He said he wanted to make cinnamon orange muffins.  Good guesses on the ingredients, but I wasn't quite sure how he was going to make those satsumas work.  I asked what recipe he was going to use and he said he was just going to make it up.  Now, I admit, he's pretty good in the kitchen, especially for an 8 year old boy.  But I just couldn't see this turning out well (not with the piles of "sick laundry", the disaster of a kitchen, and everything else I had on my plate from dealing with a house of sickies and trying to get ready for Christmas.  So I found and printed a recipe from the internet and set him to work. 

They were delicious!

About this time, I got a call from my dear friend, Tami.  Tami, who has the gift of... oh, I don't know... everything you could possibly think of to be helpful, encouraging, and take a load off a fellow mom?  She's got a lot of gifts, that one.

She called to make sure I was keeping my sanity and to tell me she was bringing lunch... and dinner!  I assured her I wasn't sick and was still quite capable... but I'm also not stupid, so I accepted and thanked her profusely!  At lunch time she showed up at my door with a big, steaming pot of baked potato soup.  (And a movie to keep Sam occupied, bubble bath for me, and hand sanitizer to fight off the germs!) And just before dinner, she dropped off a frozen lasagna, frozen green beans (I think from her garden this summer, they were delicious!) and pudding cups for the kids.  

And with all the time that freed up, I finished washing all the laundry and sewed Christmas Jammies for the whole family (ok... minus 1.  I still have to finish mine.  Hopefully today.)

Thankful

I am utterly amazed at the blessing God has bestowed upon me.  With not an ounce of deserving.  Some friends were posting on Facebook from November 1st through Thansgiving one thing each day they were grateful for.  Knowing I'd fall behind, I saved them for this post.

1. I am saved by Grace.
2. I have a God and Savior who walks beside me and leads me through EVERY day.
3. I have an amazing husband who loves me.
4. My kids have a dad who loves them is so incredibly involved and invested in their lives. 
5. I have a son who is brilliant, and loving, and refines my patience. :)
6. I have a daughter who is sweet and funny and overflowing with life.
7. We have been entrusted with the care of a spunky, adorable toddler for this period of her life.
8. We have a small, but affordable home.
9. I live in a country (and a state, and a county), where homeschooling is not only legal, but supported.
10. I have close friends who are walking the road with me of raising adopted, special needs children.
11. I have more close friends who are like-minded, and support each other in the daily realities of homeschooling and being wives and mothers who want to please God in our calling.
12. I have a large extended family that still gets together for holidays.
13. I have blog readers, some of whom I have never met, who supported me with prayers and  encouraging words when two of our children were taken from us.
14. We were able to be a part this year of the planting of a church in the heart of our town.
15. The pastor and congregation of our church have amazing hearts for God, for the Bible, and for adoption!
16. More and more families are opening themselves up to answer God's call to care for orphans through adoption... this brings me GREAT joy!
17. In a time of great financial difficulty in this country, we are thriving.
18. My husband's work provides insurance for our family at a minimal cost to us.
19. My pantry is full.
20. I have both the means and the ability to make good, wholesome food for my family.
21. Brian's company opted to forgo annual raises this year, so that there would be NO lay-offs.
22. My children love me, despite my MANY imperfections.
23. We have two functioning vehicles.
24. My mom babysits!  We don't have a weekly date night or anything, but we can generally go out on our anniversary, attend meetings with social workers when needed, and more... and that is a real blessing!
25. We just found out one of our former foster kids (S, now age 11, from January '09) is being adopted by someone Brian knows from work!  Hooray!!
26. Tomorrow is the first day of the Christmas season (by my rules).  Decorations, music, movies... and Peppermint Mochas... here I come!

Happy Thanksgiving, Friends!  May you enjoy time with your loved ones as you count your many blessings. :)